Why I No Longer Date Tire Kickers Why You Shouldn’t Either

  A "tire kicker" is someone who appears to be interested in buying something, asks a lot of questions, uses up a lot of your time, but then does not buy anything.  Sadly, the "Tire Kickers" have expanded from not only wasting people's time in the world of sales, they are now a force to be reckoned with in the dating world of 2018.

Sadly, the "Tire Kickers" have expanded from not only wasting people's time in the world of sales, they are now a force to be reckoned with in the dating world of 2018.


Online dating and dating through social media is full of lots of people who want to have some sort of virtual relationship with you, but they never want to actually meet you in person.  They will message you frequently, possibly every day.  They will show an interest in your life.  They will tell you that you are beautiful, smart, sexy and they will feed your ego, but despite their feigned interest and the accolades they throw your way, they will not meet you in person.

Why won’t they meet you in person?  Your guess is as good as mine.  Maybe their dating profile, or Facebook page really isn’t them so they don’t want to be discovered.  Maybe they look or act nothing like their online persona and don’t want you to know.  Maybe they are married.  Maybe they are afraid you will reject them if you meet in person so they would rather stay within the safety of a cyber pen-pal relationship.  Maybe they are shy or reclusive and afraid to go on an actual real date.  Maybe something else.

At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter why they don’t want to meet you in person.  None of these are good reasons, and none of these are people that you should want to meet or waste time chatting with. Countless times I have come across people on dating sites who want to message for weeks or even months.  They don’t even want to talk on the phone, they just want to write back and forth.  I had one prospective date email me for over a year. Finally, he asked me on a date and I went, out of mere curiosity at this point.  We had a nice dinner, but never contacted each other again by mutual decision.    The moral of the story:  you can’t really get to know someone unless you meet in person.  Emailing, texting, and messaging someone is not really connecting with them.  We all have busy lives, and if you are anything like me, you don’t have time to be a pen-pal.

My approach now is that if someone has not asked me on an actual real life date after a couple of weeks of messaging, then I am no longer interested in meeting them unless there has been a good reason for this such as illness, work or family commitments, or some other reasonable excuse.  We all deserve to be with someone who is excited to meet us and spend time with us.  If someone is regularly showing no interest in meeting in person, or they are constantly making excuses for why they can’t meet you in person, they are not interested enough in you that you should be wasting your time or energy interacting with this person.  We all have busy lives, but we all know how to fit something or someone into our schedule when it is important enough to us.  If someone isn’t doing this, they are sending you a message loud and clear, and it is only the beginning of the relationship.  If this is what the honeymoon period looks like, I don’t think you want to see what follows.

After wasting too much time on endless messaging, I have finally adopted my “No Tire Kickers” dating philosophy.  Maybe I will miss out on my Prince Charming by doing this, or maybe I will have more free time to find my Prince Charming since I am no longer wasting time messaging someone who isn’t interested enough to actually set up a date. Have you come across “Tire Kickers” in your dating life?  If so, how do you deal with them?  Comment below and let me know.

Leave a Reply 2 comments

Dr. Renee - June 17, 2018 Reply

This was awesome to read!!! Thank you for the honesty in revealing the inner depths of emotional detachment these days. My first intuitive signal says ?married? as I remember dating and knowing these men were not as emotionally available as they let on. What a tough world today but you are right…we can only get to know someone through actual connection…not virtual role play. ????

    Guest Post - July 21, 2018 Reply

    I just found your comment here now so I am sorry for the slow reply. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree with you.

Leave a Reply: