I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For But Maybe It’s Right In Front Of Me

Being single at 50 is a very different experience than being single at 25. Not only is the dating world different and the prospects slimmer, but what I find myself looking for in a relationship has dramatically changed too.


Prince Charming, the fairy tale, happily ever after, and super hot chemistry are no longer at the top of my list. What has risen in importance though is the importance of a solid friendship. It may not be as exciting, make my pulse race or give me butterflies, but increasingly I am realizing that it is the key ingredient for any relationship that is going to stand the test of time.

Huge chemistry and attraction that make your heart race and your libido high are undeniably exciting, fun and hard to resist. In my experience though relationships that start off this way often move fast and quickly fizzle. In contrast, relationships that build slowly from friendship are built on a much more solid foundation of shared interests, good communication, respect, companionship and other qualities that form the basis for a successful longterm relationship. Chemistry still needs to be there, but in my opinion, chemistry is less important than friendship for the longterm success of the relationship.

When I was younger, physical attraction was much more important to me than it is now.  Maybe its because as I have aged, I place less importance on my own physical appearance since inevitably aging affects our appearance no matter how well we take care of ourselves. 

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