When you have children and you find yourself single again, dating can be very complicated. Not only do you have the challenge of finding someone worthy of dating, but you have more constraints on your time, potential childcare issues, and then the complex issue of what your children should know and who they should meet. The following are some general tips that I have acquired through my own experience and the experience of clients.
A "tire kicker" is someone who appears to be interested in buying something, asks a lot of questions, uses up a lot of your time, but then does not buy anything. Sadly, the "Tire Kickers" have expanded from not only wasting people's time in the world of sales, they are now a force to be reckoned with in the dating world of 2018.
In this world of "coffee meets", "hanging out", and "Netflix and chill", do people even go on real dates anymore? As someone who longs for some of the old style courtship, I am starting to think that "real dates" are becoming an endangered species. While I have certainly met some wonderful gentlemen who know how to properly court a woman and take her out for a wonderful evening, for every man like that, there are dozens who just want to hang out. I am sure that there are many men finding the same thing about women, so my comments in this blog are aimed at both genders.
A friend of mine gave me a piece of dating advice a few years ago. She said, "You need to meet a man when he is newly separated because once he has been single for too long, he will enjoy single life and not want to commit." At the time I thought that this was interesting advice, and I wasn't sure whether it was true or not. Now, as I enter yet another year of single life, I am beginning to wonder if this statement is not just true of men, but of women also. Is it possible that if we are single for too long we start to enjoy the independence, lack of drama and accompanying freedom so much, that with each passing year we become more reluctant to give it up, and thereby become almost undateable?
I recently posted a meme with the title of this blog on my social media and was very surprised at the response, mostly from men, who seemed to take exception to the content of the meme. The point of my post wasn't to attack men, it was to highlight this modern day problem that has arisen among both men AND women. Everyone is so busy searching for "the one", they overlook the very special person who may be right in front of them.
All too often in social media and other places I see people posting about how they want "good vibes only" and how they have a "no negativity" zone. At the risk of emitting "negative vibes", I have to say that I find these mantras to be ridiculous. I will even go further and say that not only are they ridiculous, they are harmful to people, our relationships and our ability to connect with one another.
Just like with the seasons, change is inevitable. For any relationship to last long-term, partners need to be adaptable and committed to adjusting to life's changing seasons. With the holidays coming next month, and the increased opportunity for family time, November is a great time to reflect on our relationships, and make sure we are adjusting with the times to weather the future together as a team.
In our world of social media, insta-stories, snapchat and all of the other mediums available, it is easy to connect with people all over the world. This means that we can develop relationships with people who we have never met in person. We can directly message them, follow their lives on social media, and possibly even take it to the next level and talk to them on Skype or FaceTime. Yet if we never actually meet in person, can we really consider these people our friends?