The Mindful Divorce
Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events. It affects everything important to us: our children, our finances, where we will live, our identity and our expectations about the future.

Divorce is one of life’s most stressful events. It affects everything important to us: our children, our finances, where we will live, our identity and our expectations about the future.
All too often in social media and other places I see people posting about how they want "good vibes only" and how they have a "no negativity" zone. At the risk of emitting "negative vibes", I have to say that I find these mantras to be ridiculous. I will even go further and say that not only are they ridiculous, they are harmful to people, our relationships and our ability to connect with one another.
If you are a single mother, like me, it is even more important that you do these things for yourself despite the greater challenges you have to manage as compared to married mothers. You must find time for yourself. Workout, date, find a career you enjoy, spend child-free time with friends. These things are imperative to do if you want to truly thrive, be happy, and be an excellent role model for your children.
Over the past 10 years, I have seen my weight fluctuate up and down. As an emotional eater, in times of stress I get heavier, and in times of happiness and contentment, I am lighter. I guess I wear my feelings on my hips, butt and tummy. After years of yo-yo dieting, binge eating, starving myself, and trying every new diet fad out there, I have learned a thing or two about successful weight loss, and weight management.
If you are considering separation or divorce, or have already started the process, you may want to consider the many advantages offered by a holistic approach to the process. Family law is not suited to the adversarial process that has evolved in our legal system. A holistic approach recognizes that the consequences of divorce and family breakdown are often devastating, and there is lots of healing to be done.
Starving ourselves to lose weight plays havoc with our metabolism as well as our moods, so eating healthy is the only way to maintain long-term successful weight management. Drinking enough water is also essential to maintaining a good energy level. If we are hungry, thirsty, too full or suffering indigestion from eating the wrong foods there is no way that we can be our best. Proper nutrition is essential for us to maximize our potential.
Forget 50 is the new 40, or 50 is the new 30. 50 is better than 30 or 40. Yes, I have a few wrinkles, some cellulite and grey hair – all of which are fixable in our modern age. More importantly though, I have wisdom, confidence and an inner peace with myself that I never had in my younger days. This is what makes being 50 priceless.
Self-care is a struggle for many women. Between work, kids, spouses or dating, aging parents and all of the other demands we juggle, self-care seems like a luxury rather than a necessity. I learned the hard way that self-care MUST be a necessity, particularly if you are going through a major life transition like a divorce.
Loving myself has kept me on track with eating healthy, exercising and sticking to my healthier lifestyle. Looking better and feeling better about myself has affected my interactions with others resulting in an expanded social circle and increased self-confidence. Increased self-confidence has opened up unlimited career possibilities.