Just like with the seasons, change is inevitable. For any relationship to last long-term, partners need to be adaptable and committed to adjusting to life’s changing seasons. With the holidays coming next month, and the increased opportunity for family time, November is a great time to reflect on our relationships, and make sure we are adjusting with the times to weather the future together as a team.
Here are some tips on weatherproofing your relationship with your partner:
- Communication: This is the number one thing that partners need to do well in order to have a healthy relationship. We need to communicate our needs so that our partner understands what we need from the relationship. No one is a mind reader. Uncommunicated needs lead to resentments which undermine healthy relationships.
- Quality and Quantity of Time: It goes almost without saying that spending quality time together is important. Date nights and intimacy are very important to a healthy relationship. Quantity of time matters though too. Absence doesn’t really make the heart grow fonder, it makes it grow more distant. Just spending time in the same room, even if one of you is reading and one of you is doing a hobby, can still help strengthen your connection. The best relationships are ones where partners know they can just be together and they don’t have to be talking, as the silence isn’t uncomfortable.
- Reciprocity: Both partners need to be committed to working on the relationship and helping it grow with the times. If only one person is putting in the effort, it won’t work.
- Agreement on key issues including money, parenting and sex: If a couple has very divergent viewpoints on these three issues, there are going to be significant problems in the relationship. There needs to be lots of communication on these topics and a commitment to always keeping the communication channels open as changes in life affect these three areas.
- Respect: If there is mutual respect in a relationship, it has a much better chance of weathering the storms.
We can’t stop change from happening, but with a little time and commitment, we can weatherproof our lives from the changing seasons.